PATHOLOGICAL DEMAND AVOIDANCE (PDA
When every request becomes a battle, trying harder isn't always the answer.
If your child avoids, resists or becomes overwhelmed by everyday demands—and the strategies that are supposed to help only seem to make things worse—you may need to look at the problem differently.
I've worked with neurodivergent children and families for more than 30 years, including children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and other forms of extreme demand avoidance.
I help parents figure out what's driving the resistance, what may be escalating it, and how to approach their child in a way that works better for their particular nervous system, personality and circumstances.
Online parent consultations available across the U.S.
You've probably already tried a lot.
Rewards.
Consequences.
Schedules.
Warnings.
Giving choices.
Being more consistent.
Being less demanding.
Explaining why something needs to happen.
And sometimes the harder everyone tries, the harder everything gets.
That's one of the reasons PDA can be so difficult for families. Strategies that work beautifully for one neurodivergent child can completely backfire with another.
The question isn't simply:
“How do I get my child to comply?”
A more useful question is often:
“What's happening when this demand is made?”
That's where I start.
We figure out what's actually getting in the way.
Demand avoidance doesn't happen in a vacuum.
We may need to look at anxiety, communication, sensory overload, executive functioning, motivation, autonomy, expectations, transitions, relationships, the environment—and how the adults around your child are responding.
Sometimes a small change in how something is presented makes a significant difference.
Sometimes the demand itself needs to change.
Sometimes everyone has become trapped in a pattern that isn't working anymore.
There isn't one PDA strategy that works for every child.
That's why I don't start with a predetermined program.
I start with your child.
How I Can Help With PDA
We meet by video and talk through what's actually happening.
Bring me the situations that aren't working.
Getting out the door.
School refusal.
Homework.
Hygiene.
Bedtime.
Screens.
Appointments.
Household responsibilities.
Transitions.
Conflict between parents and child.
Or something completely different.
We'll break the problem down, look for patterns and develop practical approaches for you to try.
Then we can adjust based on what actually happens—not what a generic parenting program says should happen.
This isn't about winning a battle with your child.
My approach is built around trust, empathy, respect and understanding the individual.
That doesn't mean children can never be challenged. It means figuring out how to challenge without unnecessarily escalating or overwhelming them.
My work draws from decades of experience with autism, ADHD, communication, sensory challenges, executive functioning and behavioral challenges, along with techniques and approaches I've developed through working directly with neurodivergent people and their families.
The goal isn't to make your child fit somebody else's definition of “normal.”
The goal is to help your family function better.
You don't have to figure this out alone.
If you're stuck in a cycle where ordinary requests repeatedly become extraordinary problems, let's talk about what's happening.
Sometimes understanding why the current approach isn't working is the first step toward finding one that does.